The backseat drivers are getting noisy

Diary of the last ten hours

7.12am

RNZ appears to have picked up a small dose of the mild journalistic hysteria trailing behind our vaccination programme and wailing OMG IT’S A DISASTER I MEAN I KNOW IT’S NOT A DISASTER YET BUT OMG I KNOW IT’S GOING TO BE A DISASTER SOON.

They’ve had a quick look at the data and concluded that because there are 2 and half million doses still to go for Group 3 and preparations have begun for Group 4, the job is looking a bit crook.

Maybe, here in the hermit kingdom, people have fallen so out of practice with flying, they've forgotten the way your flight will be called and then before that one has taken off, the person on the intercom will start calling some other people up for a different one.

They also seem to be overlooking that this coming month looks to be a very busy one for vaccinations, because by the most happy coincidence, not only have a whole lot of bookings been set up, many hundreds of thousand more doses have landed, just as it was foretold.

Here in the family car of five million the backseat drivers have been getting so noisy you almost can't hear Fran O'Sullivan.

I feel the need to take to Twitter and Facebook to gather my own anecdata.

What does the response suggest? It suggests by crikey there are a lot of us booked for next month.

I’m no Nostradamus but I reckon by the end of the month we might see some quite big progress in that 2.5-million-dose target. And maybe having people in Group 4 ready to go might prove to be a bit of a non-shambolic move.

7.32am

The online morning paper brings unsettling news that quite large numbers of people have been getting on planes in Australia to bubble over here without producing, as required, proof of a recent negative Covid test. 

First Thought: this is not the biggest surprise when you consider how goddam cavalier people in NSW are being in the middle of a goddam lockdown.

Second Thought: can’t you just biff them, the same way you biff someone if they don't produce a passport? The answer appears to be: no, because thanks to the E-Gate system you can sail through borders without being asked. We don't have enough uniformed officers to stand there saying Nau mai, haere mai, Aotearoa greets you warmly, do you have your slip of paper there sport? You don't? Oh that’s a pity, sorry but fuck off. 

That seems, to say the least, unfortunate, because refer to Thought Number Three.

Third Thought: The stakes get higher way faster thanks to the maths of the Delta variant’s transmission rate. Like, far more people infected, far, far sooner.

Fourth Thought: can we do better? It looks as though the answer is yes, but also, let’s recognise the difference between something needing improvement and fixing and an actually broken system. As far as this pandemic goes and no doubt as far as many of them go, your choices are just a series of bad options and you choose the least worst of them.

When you must choose the least worst option, there will be aspects of the arrangement that are lousy.

We should emphatically be hearing what's wrong and needing fixing, but it would be a mistake to treat things as though we have dangerous clowns making catastrophically bad decisions when the real thing is playing out for us to compare and contrast, on film, on a 24/7 feed from London.

Fifth Thought: having said all that, I truly feel for anyone who has collided with our Pandemic management and been roughed up. I know that the number of people who can attest to that is gathering as we go along. I also know that you can feel disinclined to raise your voice for fear of getting shouted down. If it might help, anonymous notes of your experiences are welcome here, and will get a sympathetic hearing. I promise. I’m all in favour of finding ways to keep this far-from-easy show on the road.

9.12am

Get an absolute load of this performance of hectoring, lecturing, bullying and mansplaining. The piece of work in question is Aussie Olympics boss John Coates presuming to boss around Queensland premier Annastacia Palaszczuk.

Michael Rowland @mjrowland68

‘You are going to the opening ceremony.’ Here is that awkward exchange between AOC President John Coates and Queensland Premier @AnnastaciaMP at a media conference in Tokyo last night. #Brisbane2032 @BreakfastNews

Talk about a teachable Smash the Patriarchy moment.

It takes me back to a dominant mood of the ‘81 tour. This is how men of authority used to be: full of certitude, never imagining for a moment that their priorities and their perspective were not everyone else’s.

Elsewhere, meanwhile, someone points out he is also just plain dumb mistaken.

The CEO of Toyota (major sponsor) isn’t going to the Opening Ceremony. Neither is the former Japanese PM Abe. The Empress of Japan won’t attend. Countless other people now not attending but QLD Premier is being told she has to go or else?

11.12am

Staying on the subject of blokes telling uppity women what they should and shouldn't say, Twitter is full of news of Plan B dude Simon Thornley getting the lawyers of Auckland University to fire off a threatening letter to Dr Siouxsie Wiles objecting to a Spinoff piece she wrote about Covid information and misinformation.

This is -  as everyone is noting -  a little curious, given he's a vocal champion of free speech.

It is also a little curious that Dr Wiles alone is receiving this ire when she is far from the only person offering such an opinion of his arguments.

And it’s a bit of a worry for him that he has lawyers who appear not to know how to use ‘infer’ correctly.

12.12pm

Damn she can write, can Sue Orr. Thanks to all you MTAF readers who joined us last night to hear from her  about Loop Tracks, lovely to see you!

We acclaimed the book, talked about writing a novel in real time against a backdrop of 1.00pm news conferences, and applauded the marvellous news that it’s already in its second printing and has been picked up for distribution in Australia early next year.

If you’re keen to get your hands on a New Zealand novel set in our lockdown last year, Loop Tracks is for you. If you ever owned a Spirograph set, or wondered how the airborne underground railroad to Sydney worked, or if you will read any book that comes highly recommended by Kim Hill, Loop Tracks is for you.

1.12pm

To the supermarket, and I stand and scan as people barge past, because I don't know, maybe they're on a mission from God. Well, you know what? So am I, because on day three of the new season navel oranges you bet I’m filling my basket.

I was enthusing earlier this week about life's small treats as the new season arrives: the Granny Smiths, the navel oranges,  the asparagus. Your feedback has reminded me of a bunch more: the first new potatoes, the first strawberries, the first feijoas - tbh you're on your own there, but glad for you all the same - and Bluff oysters. A treat every time. Life still has its small blessings here in the hermit kingdom.

Also, reader Jeff -hi Jeff! - knows where you can get them for a real good price.

2.12pm

Auckland Council has been in correspondence with AT about the woeful state of affairs vis a vis and in re: bikes. 

The whole damnable litany of shortcomings is set out in a couple of letters and there are watery promises in reply from the AT chair to do something once they done some thinking about doing something.

You can read it all here, but if you don't have time and just want the executive summary, I’ve set it to Edwin Starr music for you.

AT huh, yeah

What are they good for?

Nothing

Say it again

AT huh, yeah, good God 

What are they good for?

Absolutely Nothing

2.22pm

The Conversation has taken a calm look at bikes, and who rides them, and how wildly affordable they are and it is excellent.

Why calling ordinary Kiwi cyclists ‘elitist’ just doesn’t add up

An excerpt:

Logically, for cycling to be an elitist transport mode, the cost of car ownership would have to be considerably lower. So, is it? The Automobile Association did the maths using a very moderately priced NZ$26,600 car (we’re in Suzuki Swift territory here). 

Taking into account variable and fixed costs, with an average annual driving distance of 14,000km, the cost of ownership was $21 per day. That works out to about 54 cents/km, or more than 13 times the cost of bicycle ownership.

And:

Even the most expensive e-bike is a fraction of the price of a new car, not counting the unpriced environmental costs of car ownership. A good e-bike costs less than the credit available under the government’s electric vehicle “feebate” scheme.

2.32pm

Okay. So you're now so enthused by all this, you’ve decided: today’s the day I get on a bike. Excellent choice! You may have questions such as: help please nurse now what? No worries. Sarah has you covered.

Sarah 🍓 @SarahJ_Berry

A year ago I was too scared to ride a bike in London. Now I’m one of @WeAreCyclingUK’s 100 Women in Cycling for 2021. So if you’re out there telling yourself cycling isn’t for you: I urge you to reconsider. Because cycling is for everyone. Here are my tips for beginners:

Trust me, it’s much more fun than the back seat.

4.20pm