Oscars day in La La Land

Thursday School Journal

It is Oscars day in La La Land!

La La Land is where you live if you are a movie star.
It is not easy being a star.
You have to go on TV and say, hello Jimmy how are you here is an amusing anecdote that happened to me would you like to roll a clip of my new film.
And photographers will follow you everywhere and the whole world will know where you went for dinner and what you ate. 

Although now that there is Instagram,
it is sort of the same for everyone else too.
But you have to take your own picture of your dinner.
And you have to put it onto the internet yourself.
No-one will be chasing after you saying, Zendaya Zendaya give us a smile honey.

And you will have to click like on all the pictures of your friends’ dinners so that they will click yours and say Slay queen.

It is Oscars day in New Zealand too.
There is a film that was made in New Zealand that might win all the Oscars!
This is even more exciting than reading the newspaper and seeing a Z!

The film is called Power of the Dog.
But is not about a dog.
Or a power scheme.
Even though these are two things New Zealand is full of.

Power of the Dog got made near the Central Otago Rail trail because when you squint it looks like Montana,
only with with pubs that sell blue cod and chips and Speights.

You do not see the pubs in the movie,
or the fish and chips.
It is a bit of a pity from a marketing point of view. 

When someone tells you what happens in a movie before you get to see it,
that is called a spoiler.
Here is a spoiler.
Power of the Dog is about a mean bully, but he looks like Benedict Cumberbatch. 
The bully gets taught a lesson.
The lesson is don't be too cheap to buy your ropes,
you can get crook as a dog making them yourself.

On the radio they are talking to someone who had the job of getting the movie made here.
She thinks it is very good that the movie got made here. 
She says about 300 people got jobs making all the pretend Montana houses and saloons and stockyards.

It is good that they had jobs.
But it might also be good that the movie finished.
Now they can go back to building houses and help relieve the builder shortage.

She is also saying it is good to win an Oscar because it makes people notice that New Zealand is a place to make movies and they might come here and make a movie and win an Oscar,
which is good because it makes people notice that New Zealand is a place to make movies and they might come here and make a movie and win an Oscar,
and so on and so on.

It is time to stand on the Red Carpet and let people say to you who you are wearing?
It is time for people who like it when you call them bitch to take to Twitter and say  girlfriend who dressed you honestly you’d have to have rocks in your head to go outside in that.

There are lots of frocks.
There are lots of people saying girlfriend who dressed you?
But they only say it about Kristen Stewart if they have rocks in their head.

Now it is time to give out all the boring awards. 
It is sooo boring.
We will wake up when it's time for the Power of the Dog to make New Zealand famous.

It has been ten hours!
It is time to wake up!

Oh look there is a fight happening at the Oscars!
An actor has slapped an actor for being insulting!

What does this mean?
Does it mean two people have both gone too far and in a moment they will apologise?Or does it mean something else?

It means something else!
It is time for Twitter to explode.

When Twitter explodes, everyone makes an especially big deal out of the issue they are always making a big deal out of.

Some people are saying violence is never the answer 
Some people are saying he had it coming the prick
Some people are saying where is the consideration for a terrible condition
Some people are saying I can't believe you said violence is never the answer 
Some people are saying I can't believe you said he had it coming the prick

Everyone is saying, my position is the right one and it is unbelievably insensitive of you to not agree

It is getting very loud.
It is like when someone brings you popcorn to watch the news and you end up not sure what is the news and what is the popcorn.

There is hardly time left to notice that some other dumb film gets Best Picture!
And Director Jane gets an Oscar for being Best Director!
This does not happen very often if you are a lady in La La Land.
So this is probably good for New Zealand.
And this is probably good for New Zealand and for lady directors.
And it is probably good for New Zealand lady directors.

But maybe we should wait for Twitter to decide.

Who will win next year?
Maybe it will be a film about Ukraine!
In La La Land they are very good at making movies about how terrible things like the war in Ukraine can happen while the world just gets wrapped up in other stupid things.

It is good for us that the movies can remind us what is going on and make us feel superior about other people’s poor choices.

It is why we have Award Ceremonies.