Until a few minutes ago, this newsletter had its usual end of week opening: and so this is Friday and what have we learned?
But now there’s news from West Auckland of the frightening kind that reinforces what’s been at the back of many minds these past couple of weeks: things are brittle.
The first thought I had when I heard yesterday about a dude getting out of MIQ was all reflex, and it was angry and damning. Then you read and learn more and realise things may be not quite as you thought. In these stressed times vulnerable people will be even more vulnerable. In these stressed times, people cynically wielding bullshit can be a great hazard In these stressed times, earnest people earnestly wielding bullshit can be a great hazard also.
Those words be kind resonated in the very first days last year because it made sense, and its authentic implicit meaning was understood. Everyone was feeling vulnerable and uncertain. It was reassuring and welcome to hear those words: it was an undertaking, a resolve for us to all be more considerate of one another.
Now we've had months and months of isolated, protected, comparative serenity and the whole be kind idea has become, if not irrelevant, at least a bit of a devalued currency.
These past couple of weeks and this afternoon’s violence - whatever scale and cause it turns out to have had - make it clear once more that be kind can have real meaning, It can be an injunction to take a breath and consider, rather than yield to reflex and anger.
We need to keep doing that.
There are only 31 unlinked cases, three in today's new cases, but there can’t really be any. It’s hard to see us coming out of level 4 before we have every instance located and can be sure it won't take off again. Losing the elimination fight to quote one story this morning, would be grim.
Restrictions would need to be in place for months until vaccine rates climbed above 80 per cent, the virus would probably escape Auckland, the healthcare system could be overwhelmed and there would be deaths.
We're not going anywhere for a while. Things could be brittle for some time.
If a distraction would be good, do please press on, all the usual Friday fun is here. But it can also wait.
Quiz
1. A WW2 BBC broadcast to Europe would begin with what greeting?
a. Hi-de-hi campers
b. Achtung
c. Alright?
d. This is London calling
2. Which band was recognised by The Guinness Book of Records as ‘the globe's loudest’ for a concert rendering three of the audience unconscious?
a. Uriah Heep
b. The Who
c. Deep Purple
d. ABBA
3. Which of these was not a professional swagger in Aotearoa?
a. Russian Jack
b. Barney Whiterats
c. Shiner Slattery
d. Slimy Seymour
4. What is the name of this masterpiece?
a. Keep Clam and Carry On
b. Venus in Furs
c. The Birth of Venus
d. Knowing Me, Knowing You
5. What do you see out your window on the Desert Road?
a. Rangipo Desert
b. Tongariro Desert
c. Statue of a giant carrot
d. Statue of a giant Simeon Brown
6. In David Bowie's Life on Mars, what words follow these?
It's a God-awful small affair, to the girl with the..
a. dancing bear
b. lumpy chair
c. mousy hair
d. Collins stare
7. Who was the first all-female band in history to write their own songs and play their own instruments and achieve a No. 1 album?
a. The Runaways
b. The Supremes
c. The Go-Go’s
d. Bananarama
8. Which of these quotes is not attributed to Paul Keating?
a. I wanna do you slowly
b. All tip and no iceberg
c. Unless you’re scripted you’re useless
d. As I have loved you, so you must love one another
9. Which of these was not a Cook Strait ferry?
a. Aramoana
b. Kaitaki
c. Aranui
d. Mikhail Lermontov
10. Which of these can get you a fine?
a. Pronouncing vulnerable as vonn-ra-bool
b. Taking your enormous trolly into the tiny self-checkout area
c. Not wearing a seatbelt
d. Putting beetroot in a hamburger
Answers
1. A WW2 BBC broadcast to Europe would begin with what greeting?
d. This is London calling
2. Which band was recognised by The Guinness Book of Records as ‘the globe's loudest’ for a concert rendering three of the audience unconscious?
c. Deep Purple
3. Which of these was not a professional swagger in Aotearoa?
d. Slimy Seymour
Tom Scott talked about this in an interview for Bullrush, reminiscing about old Feilding days
There were still tramps then, in the fifties - unemployed men who would knock on the door and ask for a meal; swaggies like Russian Jack. And sometimes with a lonely housewife they would get sex as well as scones - but mostly a cup of tea and a scone. No really! You never came home to find your mother readjusting her clothing and saying “oh Russian Jack’s been here, what a lovely man?”
4. What is the name of this masterpiece?
c. The Birth of Venus
5. What do you see out your window on the Desert Road?
a. Rangipo Desert
6. In David Bowie's Life on Mars, what words follow these?
It's a God-awful small affair, to the girl with the..
c. mousy hair
7. Who was the first all-female band in history to write their own songs and play their own instruments and achieve a No. 1 album?
c. The Go-Go’s
Drew Barrymore, writing about discovering them, aged seven:
I stared at the girls on the cover like they were a gateway to cool. The fact that they were girls made me feel not only invited but more important – like I could be a badass too. I looked over to my Pippi Longstocking poster on the wall and thought, Yes! I like girls who rock!
8. Which of these quotes is not attributed to Paul Keating?
d. As I have loved you, so you must love one another
9. Which of these was not a Cook Strait ferry?
d. Mikhail Lermontov
10. Which of these can get you a fine?
c. Not wearing a seatbelt
Dismal Awards
Dismal Award the first to Gladys Berejiklian for actually saying, ‘Death is horrible but let’s put it in perspective. There are 8 million people who can’t choose what to do with their free time.’
She really did. Here's the link.
I feel like I typed out the whole citation in yesterday's column already so here’s the link to that. Come on bro, think what the hell you're saying. It might suit the big end of town and the CEO of Flight Centre but this is just Arctic cold.
2. Dismal award the Second to everyone in Texas (and their Supreme Court enablers of whom so many people are muttering bitterly don't say we didn’t warn you in the 2016 election) who made possible the new abortion law.
Texas. Won't force you to wear a mask, but will control your body after 6 weeks of pregnancy.
3. Dismal award the Third to novelist Lionel Shriver who wrote this for the Spectator:
The white British proportion of the population has fallen from 89 per cent to 79 per cent, while ethnic minorities have grown from 10 per cent to 21 per cent
and
White Britons needn’t submissively accept the drastic ethnic and religious transformation of their country as an inevitable fate they’re morally required to embrace without a peep of protest.
One writer asked: did Anders Breivik write this?
Reader and guest judge Dan - hi Dan! - wrote: I told you she sucks.
He adds:
It’s bizarre though - an American novelist desperately clinging to some sort of bleached Brexiteer vision of White Britain. I'm not sure it's going to be a winning formula for her. Fiction readers tend to want their worlds opened up rather than narrowed down
Dear Lionel Shriver and everyone who wants to play footsie with the obnoxious Great Replacement theory: what you see as people wanting to take away your advantage is in fact people simply seeking a share. How about we try to be the kid who plays nice and not the one who grows up to be a monster?
Dismal award the Fourth to everyone involved in the exasperating gotcha sideshow that began Why did the Prime Minister shirk her responsibility yesterday to let us know about the absconder?
Apart from the loaded framing, and the pretty clear evidence that the thing was still unfolding at the point of yesterday’s 1pm briefing and it was just a bit early to be speaking with certainty, Here's The Thing: in Auckland we're all supposed to be locked down and treating ourselves and everyone around us as if they have Covid. So how would news of someone with Covid being at large change anything?
And a late-breaking Dismal Award the Fifth to the actual PM of Australia. Mate. Actual state of this bloke.
Hall of Fame
Into the Hall of Fame goes this dude because I am in absolute awe and also can barely watch.
I own scaffolding like that which I can put together to get me up to five metres, and in theory I could be doing that too, all the way to 50 storeys. But here in the real world I would completely lose my shit at I don't know probably two more levels. It shouldn’t make any difference but it makes all the difference in the world. All power to you brother.
Also straight into the Hall of Fame goes the very funny @Lukeurmyson as he makes his very welcome return to Twitter.
And into the Hall of Fame goes whoever had this inspired idea.
Lastly, into the Hall of Fame goes This Lockdown.
Not for all the reasons that make us brittle and fractious and anxious, but for showing us a second time what a wonderful and better world we could have if we only had the resolve and the imagination to make the changes we need.
Breathe this air! Marvel at the clarity of this light! Let’s have more!
Thanks for the diversion - either side of the 5:15 press conference informing us it was a rampant terrorist cut down fast! Thinking of those who were injured and bracing for the point-scorers leaping in to (attempt to) make political capital.
Now - riffing off one item in your excellent Friday bulletin:
My father, b.1911, grew up in Greymouth. He was always told to leave a little on his plate for manners. For some time he believed there was a swagman named Manners who would come to the backdoor each night ...
Did ScoMo really say that about the deaths? A new low for one of the worst people still alive today.