Special Vaccination Day at Kia Kaha Primary School

Thursday School Journal

It is Special Vaccination Day at Kia Kaha Primary School!

It is still the holidays.
So school is not supposed to start yet.
But there is an Omicron trying to get in.

The Omicron is mean.
It is especially mean to children. 
When you have the Omicron you cannot taste things and it is hard to breathe.

It is not nice when an Omicron gets in you.
It can be like drunk boys in a McDonalds on Saturday night, only worse.
It can be like they are falling over and breaking things as usual but also they have got wet concrete and they are spraying it over everything.

It is not nice if you cannot taste your Big Mac. 
It is not nice to have wet concrete on your lungs.

Ms Barry has sent an email to all the parents.
It says,
totally up to you obviously and completely voluntary, but if you want to get [insert name here] protected ASAP, we’ll be doing vaccinations this Thursday in the assembly hall.
Also, big thanks to Artichoke Real Estate for putting on a free sausage sizzle. 

The mail does not say insert name here.
It says Chloe if your name is Chloe.
Or it says Caleb if your name is Caleb.
Ms Barry knows how to do mail merges and how to open spreadsheets and how to calm down fathers when they shout at you and say FFS what kind of woke bullshit is this you’re teaching our kids now??

When you are a principal you need to know a lot of other things besides reading and writing and PE and what a protractor is for.

Ms Barry sent the email last week to all the parents.
But she did not send one to Amelia’s Dad.
She does not want to get 94 emails written in capital letters all over again.

Amelia’s Dad parked next to Ms Barry in the Pak’n’Save carpark last week.
His Hilux has stickers that say Make Ardern Go Away.
He has written in the back window,
Jacinda and co are coming for your kids they are murdering our loved ones. Get angry. Do not comply. Stand up. Speak out. Be Men.

It is a lovely sunny day for Special Vaccination Day!

The assembly hall is all set up for vaccinations.
The vaccinators are all ready with the needles that you don't even feel.
Gerry and Toni and Heather and Rowan from Artichoke Real Estate are all set up with the sausages.

Ms Barry says to Gerry Artichoke,
cheers for this Gerry

Gerry Artichoke winks at Ms Barry as he turns the pork sausages.
He says,
absolutely no problem Ms Barry.
Then he looks over at the car park. 

Amelia’s Dad is there with his Hilux and some other people.
They all look very angry.
They look like you do when you are walking along eating your Big Mac and it slips out of your hands and goes on the ground and you can’t pick it back up because other people have seen.

They are taking out some signs. 
The signs are not like the ones in Amelia’s Dad’s Hilux.
They are proper printed signs like you see in shops that say,
everything must go.

Gerry Artichoke says to Ms Barry,
Any idea who's paying for all the fancy signs?

Ms Barry says,
Look, I'm not bothered just as long as they stay over there and don't scare the kids.

Gerry Artichoke says,
We’ll keep an eye on them if you like.

Rowan nods his head.
Rowan used to be the captain of Kia Kaha Old Boys. 
If you used to be captain of Kia Kaha Old Boys you can just nod your head and people will know what you are saying.

Amelia's Dad and the other protestors have set up a stand.
It is like the sausage sizzle stand.
Only it doesn't say free sausage with your jab! it says free Ivermectin.

Ivermectin is something you give to your horse if it is full of worms.
Amelia’s Dad thinks it will also cure you if you have Covid.
On Facebook this is what people mean when they say,
I did my own research.

It is time to get a vaccination!
Lots of children have come with their mums and dads and grans and grandpas.

Some of the children are laughing and talking.
It is fun when you get to see your friends again.

But some of the children are not happy
They are worried the needle might hurt.
They are worried that what it says on Amelia's Dad’s friends signs is true.
They do not know what a plaything of big Pharma is.
They do not know what a global slave ring is.
But they don't think it sounds very good.
Ms Barry talks with the children until they feel better.

Who would like to go first? asks Ms Barry.

Ariana puts up her hand.
Ariana is nervous. 
But Ariana wants to be safe. 
Ariana wants everyone to be safe.
So she keeps her hand up.

In the carpark, there is a crashing noise.
Oh no! A bird has fallen from the sky!
It is a Mynah.
It was looking at Amelia's Dad so hard it hit a cellphone tower.
Poor Mynah!

All the protesters drop their signs!
They run to the bird!
Will they be able to save it with chants and affirmations and Ivermectin?
They are going to try!

Ariana has had her vaccination.
Well done Ariana, says Ms Barry, that was very brave of you.
Who else wants to be brave?
Lots of children put their hands up.

In the carpark more people have come!
Famous antivaxxer Damian has come!
And famous antivaxxer Liz!
And famous antivaxxer Brad!
They have heard there has been a Mynah incident!

The media has come too. 
They have come to see what the antivaxxers are doing.

Why have you come to Kia Kaha Primary School? a reporter asks Damian.
Damian starts to answer.
But Liz pushes in front.
She grabs the microphone from the reporter.
She says,
We got wind something had happened at this toxic poison rally and it’s being passed off as a so-called minor incident.
Minor my eye.
You don't work in network news and endure that monster Hosking as long as I did without developing a radar for weasel words.
What really happened in this so-called minor incident?
That’s what we want to know.
How many innocent blameless beautiful children have suffered here this morning already?

It is getting fuller and fuller in the assembly hall. 
It is getting noisier and noisier in the car park.
Liz and Damian are fighting over the microphone.
Amelia's Mum and Dad are arguing.

Ms Barry looks out the window. She says,
Thank god they're distracted.
She says to Mr Drummond the deputy principal,
Honestly it's just like watching new entrants, if they were six feet tall and had car keys.

Everyone is enjoying the sausages.
There are Pork sausages.
There are Pork and Fennel sausages.
There are I-Can't-Believe-It’s-Not-Pork-and-Fennel vegan sausages. 

Rowan is turning the sausages and handing them to Toni and Heather. 
He looks over at the carpark and all the angry  waving arms.

He says to Toni,
It's weird really. They get so worked up about what 5G will do to you and what 1080 will do to you and what vaccines will do to you.
You'd think they'd be shitting themselves about a virus that can turn your lungs to concrete.