So long, then, Colin and Jake

Midweek obituary special

Pauanui, April 1 2062

The man who spent a billion dollars trying to get anyone in New Zealand to write something nice about him met his end this week.

A 9 million cubic metre mudslide of household garbage buried Colin Craig, 94, and his manservant Jake Bezzant, 74, at their Pauanui home.

Howick, where Colin Craig was raised, is the sort of place where you …