It is Pick a Judge Week in America!
America’s Supreme Court needs a new judge.
Mr Biden has picked his friend Ketanji Brown Jackson.
Now it is time for the Senators to pick his friend apart.
This is what happens in a democracy with a Fox News channel.
America is the best and most democratic country in the world
is a thing people in America say.
It is a bit of an odd thing to say, really.
In America, the person you vote for president can get more votes than anyone else and still not be president.
And in America if your party has enough Senators you can get a law passed or stopped, but it is really hard to get any law passed or stopped unless you are a Republican.
This is not because everyone believes in the Republicans.
It is because the littlest states where hardly anyone lives but everyone believes in the Republicans are allowed to have two Senators,
and great big states where lots and lots of people live and they believe in Democrats are allowed to have just two Senators also.
So there are lots of Republican Senators.
And whenever anyone asks to change the rules about who gets to be Senator,
the Republican Senators say No.
Also, in America, they have laws that say you must prove you’re allowed to vote or we won’t let you.
The laws don’t say if you are not a white person we will make it way harder for you to do this. But that is how it seems to work.
And the laws don’t say we will make it way harder for you to get to a place to vote if you are not a white person. But that is also how it seems to work.
Lots of Republicans believe that the world would be better if everyone went to church every morning,
and the menfolk did all the important deciding,
and no-one ever did any thinking about S-E-X except when it was time to make another Republican.
These are called Bible Republicans.
They will say to you I am a friend of Jesus.
But actually they seem more like they would be friends with the God in the front half of the Bible who smote or burned or flooded 24 million people.
Bible Republicans get very upset whenever someone stands up and says they are a woman who loves a woman,
or they are a man who loves a man,
or they go by a pronoun,
or they are Hillary or Bill Clinton.
Bible Republicans also get upset if they learn that there are books being taught in schools that are not
Little House on the Prairie,
or Tom Sawyer,
or Little House on the Prairie, the One Where They Banish a Trans.
Books are very dangerous.
They could turn you into someone who identifies as pro-choice or Hillary Clinton.
Or they might be full of Critical Race Theory.
Most people don't know what Critical Race Theory is.
But they do know it is something that the Liberals and George Soros love almost as much as child sex rings.
So they are against it.
Not all the Republicans are Bible Republicans.
But if you're a Republican you listen to what the Bible republicans say.
And you say that.
It is time to ask Mr Biden's friend some questions!
There are so many questions you could ask,
like
what do you think of Black Letter Law,
or
where do you stand on judicial activism,
or
something something Roe v Wade.
But this is not really what happens at Pick a Judge Week.
Mr Senator Ted Cruz has brought a big pile of books.
He has brought them because he does not like what his staff has found inside them.
He says to Judge Jackson
These books are being read at Georgetown Day School.
That means anti-white critical race theory is being taught at Georgetown Day School.
Senator Cruz says,
Judge Jackson you are on the board of Georgetown Day School, and your kids went to school there.
Oh no! How will Judge Jackson get out of this one even though it has no bearing on anything?
Judge Jackson says,
Senator, I have not reviewed any of those books.
They don’t come up in my work as a judge, which respectfully, I am here to address.
Poor Mr Senator Ted Cruz!
Is it terribly embarrassing to have asked an irrelevant question with all the cameras pointed at him?
No it is not!
If you are good at being a senator,
you know that the important thing is to repeat what other people are thinking,
even though they are wrong too,
and make sure it gets onto Fox News.
Good work Senator Mr Ted!
It is time for Senator Mr Hawley to ask a question.
Poor Senator Mr Hawley.
The questions his staff have made for him are about a horrible kind of pornography.
It is one of the worst crimes of all.
Luckily he will only have to mention it briefly and everyone will know how bad it is, without him having to go on.
How strange!
Senator Mr Hawley is going on an on.
He is going into detail about the crimes done by someone Judge Jackson sent to jail for not very long even though what he did was horrible.
And he is still describing how horrible it was.
Senator Mr Hawley says this means
this judge, who some Democrat picked, is soft on pedophiles.
The chairman who is not a Republican says,
actually if you look at the figures,
Judge Jackon’s sentencing is entirely the same as a large majority of judges, so she's no outlier. What's your point Senator Mr Hawley?
But he does not need to ask that question.
Senator Mr Hawley is just making sure people hear him say pedophiles democrats pedophiles liberals pedophiles judges in a Fox News story,
so that people who have already made up their minds can go on feeling good about how they have made up their minds.
It is the turn of Senator Mr Lindsey Graham.
Senator Mr Lindsey Graham is what you would get if you took a pillowcase, and stuffed it full of prunes and vinegar and disappointment.
He is angry about what happened in a Pick a Judge Week to his good friend judge Brett Kavanaugh the drunken frat boy.
He says to Judge Jackson,
The media will be your biggest cheerleader.
They're in your camp.
There won't be this constant attack on you like judge Kavanaugh and other conservative judicial appointments.
There won't be any questioning of where you go to church.
What kind of groups you're in in church,
how you decide to raise your kids,
what you believe in,
how you believe in God,
nobody's gonna do that.
It is the next day!
It has been a whole day since Senator Mr Lindsey Graham said,
There won't be any questioning of where you go to church.
He looks at Judge Jackson.
He says,
What faith are you?
He says
On a scale of one to ten, how faithful would you say you are in terms of religion?
How embarrassing for poor Senator Mr Lindsey Graham to have forgotten what he said just yesterday!
Judge Jackson does not get upset like Senator Mr Lindsey Graham’s friend Brett.
She tells him that people expect her to separate her personal views from her work and that is what she does.
That is a good answer for a Pick A Judge Week.
But it is not really Pick a Judge Week.
It is really just the same week as all the other weeks.
It is Fox News Talking Points Week.
Love "a pillowcase, and stuffed it full of prunes and vinegar and disappointment."
Thank you for the chillingly accurate facts about the US "democratic" structure which I sort of knew but had chosen not to bring into sharp focus. And thank you for sitting through those senate deadly hearings so we don't have to - a true sacrifice in the cause of your art.